123, ABC, Socks!

A Rant About Socks and All their Social Implications

I have been wearing a lot of knee high and over the knee socks lately.  I wear them for two reasons:

1. They keep me warm.

2. I still secretly want to be Cher from Clueless.

Apparently the intentions behind my socks aren't clear to every random stranger I come across in town.  Women look at me like I am eiher going to:

A. Tell them they look fat in those jeans.

B. Jump their husbands/boyfriends right there in Boots.

Men look at me like

A. I am going to jump them right there in Boots.

Today, I made a series of stupid, sock related mistakes that have put me in such a mood that I have been telling everyone I meet that I am either going to:

A. Jump in freezing cold Swansea Bay and wait for death.

B. Run out, find a vampire, and insist that he/she vampirize me immediately so I can terrorize all the sock-haters out there, guilt free.

These were the mistakes I made today:

1. Left the house not dressed warmly enough.  Brrr.

2. Got so cold that I decided to buy either a pair of tights or knee high socks while I was right next to River Island.  Bought them, unwrapped them, and put them whilst sitting on a bench outside. 

While I was putting on said socks, two 18-year-old-ish guys were standing near me.  Their talking got quiter and quiter once they realized what I was doing. 

Apparently, a woman putting on socks because she was shivering cold was the hottest thing they had ever seen in their entire lives.  One gave me a smirky, ogling look.  I returned his gaze with the LOOK that my mother gives her second graders right before they are sent out to the bench for their inappropriate behavior.  I stomped off, wondering why he thought that I was putting my socks on for his benefit, when I was clearly putting them on for my own benefit.  I mean, I was cold!

Bloody socks.